There have been numerous occasions when I needed Tums. Let’s face it, when the roller coaster car is upside down on the tracks as much as it is right side up, the rope tethering me to this reality is laced with antacid therapy. Besides, these Londoners can hold their drink – and this polite (don’t snigger!) southern girl can’t keep up!

Unfortunately, my bottle of Mixed Berry Tums has run out; I popped into a Boots store for another bottle. They look harmless.

Upon closer inspection, however, one finds that standard Tums in the UK come in these assorted flavors: cherry, lemon, orange, and blackcurrant. Oh no, Donna would never survive; this will not do. And guess what the indication is… You are going to love this one: Fast, effective relief from indigestion, heartburn, and trapped wind.

Trapped wind? These English people are either too bold or too polite. Trapped wind?! Trapped wind sounds more like something a meteorologist should be advising on than something a chemist can relieve.  I say too much.  Don’t think less of me for being so dramatically uncultured.  And gas-y.

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